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When You Need Help: Tips on How To Ask

Well-being

Well-being

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Are you the kind of person who dislikes asking for help? Some people find it harder to do than others. But when you have a spinal cord injury (especially at first) you may need to ask for a lot of help.

Some of the things you were able to do before your injury you may not be able to do independently anymore. It’s ok to ask people for help as you adjust to your new lifestyle. But if you still find it difficult to do, try some of these suggestions.

How Do I Ask For Help?

When asking for help, organization is important. First, make a list of things that you will not be able to do for the first few months after your injury. These may be things you eventually learn to do on your own, once you have fully recovered and adjusted. Some things you may need help with are shopping, doing the laundry, or mowing the lawn. When writing this list, also think about how often you need these things done.

Next, make a list of all the people who have offered you help. Think about their life and how much time they may be available. For example, one friend may work all week but be free on the weekend. Your aunt, who is retired from working, may be available on weekdays during the day. You also want to consider how comfortable you are with the person and how intimate some of the jobs are. Write all these notes down.

Now make another list. In this list, match each task to the person who seems the most available and the most qualified for the task. Once that is done, you must pick up your phone and call them. During your conversation, don’t be vague. Make sure you ask them directly, and you include specific times and dates. Don’t ask, “If you feel like it some time, can you take me grocery shopping?” Instead ask, “Can you take me to the grocery store every Monday afternoon?”

Why Is Asking For Help So Hard?

To move past your fears, it is helpful to understand why asking for help can be so hard. When you know what it is that bothers you about asking for help; you can think through it and become more comfortable. Here are some common reasons people have trouble asking for help:

 

Author:  Annie Beth Donahue is a professional writer with a health and disability focus. 

 

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